


This Universe Sucks, Sammy

by writing1swat



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alpha Sam, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, M/M, Making Out, Omega Dean, Prompt Fill, Top Sam, absurd plot, sort of a parody
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-23
Updated: 2014-05-23
Packaged: 2018-01-26 06:47:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,065
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1678679
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/writing1swat/pseuds/writing1swat
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>for the LetskinkJensen community<br/><strong>http://letskinkjensen.livejournal.com/4571.html?thread=78811#t78811</strong> full prompt there</p><p>For some reason, sam and dean get thrown into another universe of ABO society. And they run into their au version: alpha!sam and omega!dean who are mated. Would like to read how the brothers react to the dynamic between the other two. And how it leads to sam claiming dean as his own, just like his counterpart.</p><p> </p><p><strong>timeline</strong>: somewhere in s2 or 3</p>
            </blockquote>





	This Universe Sucks, Sammy

**Author's Note:**

> This came out more of a parody really...so sorry to prompter for that.

When Dean opened his eyes the first thing he saw was Sam’s face hovering just inches away his own. 

_Holy shit. Way too close, Sammy boy._

Dean lurched back and hit his head on concrete with a loud THUNK. He was sure he just cracked the back of his head. Sam snickered quietly as he helped Dean sit up while Dean silently cussed him out. 

“Sorry, Dean,” Sam said but the bastard didn’t look one bit concerned.

“Yeah whatever,” Dean grumbled as he stood up and took a look around. He let out a low whistle when he noticed they were not in Maria’s living room anymore. “We’re definitely not in Kansas anymore, Dorothy.”

Sam snorted. “Come on. Let’s get off the road now. Then we can go look for that magic slipper.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Dean said as he followed after his brother to the safety of the crosswalk, ignoring all the loud honks from angry drivers. It was like they never seen two guys drop from the sky in the middle of traffic before.

“So where do you think she sent us?”

Dean looked at his brother. “What makes you think she sent us anywhere?”

“Oh come on, Dean. She’s a witch. She needed us out of town so she could control the townspeople. And did I mention she’s a witch?”

“Yeah, okay. I get your point, Sammy. Witches are evil and all that crap.” Dean sighed and stretched his back. It still ached from getting tossed into a wall. What the hell was up with evil tossing them into walls anyway? “Shit.”

“You okay, Dean?” Sam asked.

“I’m fine. Just…what the hell is up with everyone throwing us into or against walls?” Dean complained trying to rub the stiffness out of his neck.

Sam frowned. He often wondered the same thing. “I don’t know. Maybe it’s just easier for them or something.”

“Yeah well I wish they wouldn’t. One of these days I’m gonna wake up with back pains before I even hit fifty.”

Sam snorted. “Yeah, okay, whatever you say, dude.”

“Dude, Sam, are you…mocking my pain?”

“No, ‘course not.”

“Right.”

“Look. Just…forget what I said. We’ve got more important things to worry about anyway. Like for starters, where the hell do you think the witch sent us? I mean…this looks an awfully lot like New York but at the same time…not.” Sam stared after a couple that just walked past them.

Dean’s gaze followed after his brother’s. His eyebrows raised at what he saw. “Dude…”

“Yeah…uh,” Sam trailed off uncertainly, at a loss for words.

“That, um, wasn’t odd was it?” Dean cleared his throat awkwardly.

“N-nah. I mean I’ve seen a couple people…like that when I was at Stanford,” Sam said just as awkwardly. He ran a hand through his hair.

“Right, okay. Just uh making sure is all.”

They continued to walk past various buildings taking in the different people walking around. Dean gulped at the sixth shirtless dude he’d seen so far. He looked over to his brother. Sam shrugged but he looked just as uncomfortable as Dean felt. “It’s kinda hot out here.”

As if that would make Dean feel any better.

A kid on a skateboard rushed past them. Dean just about threw his hands up when he saw the kid wasn’t wearing a shirt either. He had on what seemed to be girl’s short shorts. On his right wrist was a leather bracelet and there was some kind of choker around his neck. 

“Dude! Where the fuck are we?” Dean hissed to Sam. “Are we gonna see nudists dancing in the street next?”

“I don’t know, Dean,” Sam said pulling his brother out of the way from a group of bikers. He tried not to think about their attires too much. “Just…let’s calm down and try to figure this out, okay?”

“I’m as calm as I can get,” Dean said. “Why aren’t you freaking out?”

“I am freaking out, just…more on the inside. Come on, I saw a good pie shop back there.”

“Oh good. Pie. I can use some of that and uh, less of this,” Dean said gesturing widely to the city.

Sam snorted. “Yeah. Me too.”

Pie was definitely just what the doctor ordered. “Pie is the answer to everything, Sammy,” Dean said through his third bite. “Including that universe question. Pretty positive of it.”

“Dude, that’s gross. You’re gross. Don’t talk with your mouth full,” Sam said as he watched tiny pieces of pie fly out of Dean’s mouth. His face twisted in disgust.

Dean grinned. “You’re just jealous.”

“Of what? Your ‘ _awesome_ ’ manners?”

“That I love pie more than you.”

“Yeah. Whatever.” Sam turned back to his own pie and shoved a spoonful into his mouth. He heard Dean snickering from across from him. Sam glowered into his pie, trying not to imagine what he looked like to other people. 

“Dude…”

“Don’t say it,” Sam warned him.

Dean didn’t look the slightest bit fazed. “You’re so brooding right now. You’ve got on your bitch face and everything.”

Sam sighed. “I’m not ‘brooding’ and I don’t have my…bitch face or whatever on.”

“You are and yes you do,” Dean said matter-of-factly.

“Whatever. Eat your pie, Dean,” Sam said.

Dean raised an eyebrow at the order. He suddenly leered up at Sam and Sam’s face heated up at the thought of what Dean was going to say next. “I love it when you get all commanding on me, Sammy.” 

“Dude, just eat your freaking pie.”

“Yes, sir.”

Sam rolled his eyes as Dean shoveled spoon after spoon of pie into his mouth. They were both almost done with their plates when the door to the shop creaked open. Sam looked up, hoping one of those weird shirtless, collared dudes weren’t going to come in. Sam almost choked on the pie in his mouth. He downed the glass of water quickly. 

Dean looked across to Sam with concern. “Dude, you okay?” He reached across the table to Sam’s shoulder but Sam swatted his hand away.

“Yeah…I’m fine, I think,” Sam said, then he gestured with his head to the door, “unless you’re seeing the same as I am.”

Dean swiveled his head to peer curiously over in the direction his brother pointed to. Dean almost did a double-take at what he saw. He turned back to Sam with wide eyes who looked just as bewildered and freaked out. “I-is he…are they…us?”

Sam squinted past him and licked his lips. “Uh…” The familiar bodies walked further inside and Sam was able to get a good look at the shorter guy, who happened to be wearing nothing apart from a collar, a bracelet and a…Sam’s breath hitched…was the dude wearing a fucking loincloth? He shot a glance to his brother and saw that Dean wasn’t looking at them anymore, too busy trying to burn a hole in the remainder of his pie. 

Yeah…okay this couldn’t get any weirder…or worse, right?

Dean was sure the universe hated him. Between getting framed by a psycho shifter that one time in St Louis, Missouri and almost dying Memphis, Tennessee…yeah, this one took the cake. Dean Winchester was pretty sure the universe was just out to get him at this point.

“So, I’ve got a theory,” Dean said after a minute. 

Sam perked up. “Oh yeah?”

“The witch sent us to uh…like, Bizarro World, or something,” Dean said scratching his head. “I mean…she could’ve just killed us, right? So she came up with something more…diabolical…like something to scar us for life. This, this is worse than death right here.”

Sam grimaced as he watched his…not-Sam hug Dean…no wait…not-Dean closer. The grip looked almost, too possessive. 

“That’s, um…not-you holding not-me, right?” Dean asked his voice wavering slightly.

Sam looked back down, swirling his spoon around his plate. “Uh, yeah. Maybe.” There were small bits of leftover strawberry jam on the side of his plate.

“Okay, just checking.” 

Sam dared to peer over again. The moment his sight landed on their…doppelgangers he wished he hadn’t. Not-Dean was sitting on the counter dangling his bare feet. His loincloth was slightly skewed and Sam got a lot (too much) more bare skin from his brother –not-brother– than he was comfortable with seeing. Not-Sam had his broad back turned to them and he was leaning down so his forehead was touching not-Dean’s. Sam didn’t need to see not-Sam’s face to imagine a broad smile, the same one in fact that he was sure he just cast on his own brother not too long ago. Sam shuddered as not-Dean leaned up, his somehow delicate looking hands going up to wrap them around not-Sam’s neck.

When not-Dean kissed not-Sam, Sam heard Dean (regular Dean, his…well no, not his-not-like-that) stand up. The spoon clanked on the plate. “Come on, Sammy. Let’s get out of here.”

Sam thought that was a really good idea. “Go where?”

Dean shrugged, shoving his hand into his pocket to take out a couple crumpled dollar bills. “Somewhere that’s not here,” he suggested with a glare to the couple making out.

Sam nodded, quickly getting up as well. They got out of their booth and were about to head out when a waitress bumped into Dean, accidentally spilling most of the food on his clothes. “Hey!”

The girl, barely sixteen Sam guessed, immediately bent down to pick the stuff up, all the while murmuring apologies over and over under her breath. “Sorry, sorry, sorry…”

Dean sighed and helped her. “It’s fine…really…” He trailed off into silence after a moment causing Sam to look down to see what had rendered his brother speechless. He raised his eyebrows at her attire.

The girl had on a small, see through tank top and…underwear. Fastened around her neck was one of those choker collars they had seen on some other people while walking through the city. This was…this was definitely not New York…or Kansas…or anywhere Sam has ever been to on earth before.

Sam sighed when his brother was still kneeling on the floor frozen like a statue. “Dude, come on.”

The words seemed to reach Dean because the next moment, his brother was back in motion, coughing awkwardly into a fist. The girl looked up at him with wide eyes. “A-are you okay, Mister?” There was a slight tremble in her voice that caused Sam to frown.

“Y…yeah. Totally fine, darling,” Dean said recovering quickly.

Sam snorted before bending to help pick up the rest of the stuff when it seemed like Dean wasn’t going to do anything else. “Smooth, Dean, real smooth,” he muttered into his brother’s ear.

Dean’s face reddened and he shot a glare to Sam. “Shuddup.”

It took the three of them (mostly Sam because the girl was shaking too badly and Dean was too busy ogling at her) a full five minutes to pick up most of the broken plates and glasses. When Sam was able to stand back up again not-Sam and not-Dean were still going at it on the counter. Fed up by their doppelgangers open display of affection and Dean’s obvious perving, Sam yanked his brother back up before he could start to feel the girl up. 

“Come on, man, get a grip on yourself,” Sam told him.

Dean sighed wistfully as the girl scurried back through the door, no doubt to ask for another order. “Maybe this place isn’t be so bad if all the girls are dressed like her.”

Sam rolled his eyes and motioned to the counter where not-Sam and not-Dean were going at it. “Right. Whatever you say.” Dean followed his gaze and blanched.

“Dude, did you have to remind me?” Dean groaned.

Sam snickered. “Yeah. Kinda did.”

They almost made it out the door without being seen. Almost.

“Shit.”

Dean turned to see not-Sam and not-Dean pause in their kissing. Not-Sam reluctantly pulled back from not-Dean. “Dude, just realized I fucking left my wallet in the car.” Not-Dean snorted at the declaration. “Seriously. You wanted pie, right? I gotta go back and get the wallet then. You’ll be fine by yourself for a second?” Not-Dean sighed and nodded and not-Sam leaned down to kiss his forehead. “Good. I’ll just take a minute then.” Then not-Sam turned around and caught Dean staring.

“Fuck,” Dean murmured and turned back around quickly. He nearly shoved his brother out in one motion. 

“Hey! Wait a sec! Hey! Stop!” Not-Sam called out.

Dean froze, like a deer caught in headlights, before he suddenly felt a large hand clamp down on his shoulder and spun him around. Fuck. “Uh…hi there,” Dean said staring up into shocked wide brown eyes. “Not-Sam.”

“Holy shit,” Not-Sam said.

“Yeah…” Sam said as they all took each other in. Distantly Sam could see not-Dean looking at them with some curiosity.

“Uhh, Dean, why don’t we grab some pie to go some other time?” Not-Sam said.

As if that was the cue he was waiting for, not-Dean hopped off the counter and hurried over to them. “Yeah, okay. Wasn’t that hungry for pie anyway,” not-Dean said, letting not-Sam wrap his large arms around him.

Awkwardly Dean cleared his throat. “This isn’t…awkward at all.”

Sam snorted. Right. Totally not.

So it turned out Dean’s Bizarro World theory wasn’t so off after all. The more of the city they got to see, the more Sam was reminded of some whacky BDSM porn. “Whips and chains,” Dean said from beside him as they passed what must have been the third person to be wearing all leather and carrying around a whip strapped to their hip.

Not-Sam snorted. “Only Alphas get to carry whips around.”

Sam raised an eyebrow at that. Again with the word ‘Alpha’. “Like what? People with dominating personalities?”

Not-Sam shrugged. “Well kinda but more like biology.” When Sam and Dean continued to stare at him blankly, not-Sam sighed. “You two really aren’t from around here, are you?”

Dean snorted and turned to his own doppelganger who had been quiet during the walk so far. Not-Dean was a lot smaller than regular Dean. If Dean had to estimate, the guy was about only 5’5 maybe. Jesus. Dean felt like the freaking hulk around him. 

Not-Dean was also incredibly pretty. He had a somewhat delicate face full of freckles and wide eyes and jeez, were Dean’s own lips that big and…uh, kissable? Dean felt his face heat up and he turned back to the conversation at hand. _No thinking of kissing your doppelganger. Seriously._

Yeah okay he definitely needed to stop that train of thought right the hell now before things got a whole lot weirder.

“What do you mean by biology?” Dean asked.

It took him by slight surprise that it wasn’t not-Sam that answered his question but not-Dean. “Like you can be born Alpha, Beta, or Omega. Alphas are more dominating, Omegas are um…submissive and pliant and uh Betas are kinda just in between.”

“You’re born with, what…a personality type?”

“Yeah sort of I guess,” not-Dean said with a shrug. “I mean…well, we’re also born with more stuff…like lots more hormones and um…Alphas, they, uh, they get this…thing…on their um, on their…” 

It was kind of horrifying and fascinating to watch his doppelganger stutter on his words. Not-Dean’s face was a dark red and Dean was sure if he reached up and touched his face, he’d feel the heat of it. 

Not-Sam paused in the lead to lean down against not-Dean and wrap his arms around his waist. “Come on, Dean, say it,” not-Sam crooned in his ear.

Dean shuddered at the same time not-Dean shivered in the caress. This was some creepy shit right here. He chanced a glance at his brother to see his reaction to the whole weird mess and found the blank expression on Sam’s face even creepier. What the hell?

“You know what it is. Just say it,” not-Sam said, rubbing the front of his crotch against not-Dean’s ass.

“Knots…Alphas have k-knots on their penises,” not-Dean stuttered out before starting to moan as not-Sam palmed his cock through the loincloth.

“I…uh, dude,” Dean said, breath stuttering at the sight before them. He cleared his throat a couple times before managing to croak out, “A-aren’t you guys brothers?”

Not-Sam paused in his ministrations much to not-Dean’s whines and protests. He smirked at Dean, “Dude, biology. It kinda transcends blood.” Not-Sam then dipped down and nibbled on one of not-Dean’s earlobe. Not-Dean moaned even louder.

Fuck. This was so messed up. Feeling his face heat up yet again, Dean turned to his brother. “Sammy?” 

Dean’s eyes widened at what he saw. Sam’s eyes were wide and his pupils dilated. Holy shit. Dean took a step back. “Dude, earth to Sammy?”

Sam followed him step for step until Dean found himself pressed back against the wall. “That was kinda hot, wasn’t it? How not-me can make not-you moan like that…”

“N-no…I think t-that’s m-messed up,” Dean stuttered out as Sam started to attack his neck with kisses. He clamped his mouth shut before a moan could escape.

“Hot and messed up then,” Sam murmured into his neck, pressing a small grin into his brother’s bare skin. 

“J-just…m-messed up,” Dean managed. Weakly, he tried to push his brother off him but Sam ignored his pathetic attempt. Jeez. Wasn’t Dean stronger than Sam? “C-come on, l-let me up, Sam. We still got-gotta find a way…to get home…”

“You sure you really want to get outta here now, Dorothy?” Sam asked trailing kisses down Dean’s skin. His hand snaked its way under Dean’s rumpled shirt to play with his nipples. Dean moaned louder. “Come on, man. I know you’ve got the hots for me too. And look at this place. Guys carrying whips around like it’s some weird, freaky BDSM porn? People wearing leather and choke collars and fucking loincloths, dude! They’re not gonna judge a little brother on brother action…they’ll probably even,” Sam licked a stripe down Dean’s stomach, “like it.”

“O...kay, maybe it w-won’t hurt to stay a little longer,” Dean said breathlessly. “Then we go home.”

Sam grinned into Dean’s skin. “Promise.”


End file.
